Grocery Store Time Warp
Here's a blog that everyone can relate to...and it's not political or religious!
What is it about grocery stores that make people act like dumbfucks?
First, there are the parking lots. There's always some moron walking down the middle of the parking lot, preventing any cars from moving. Damn it, I want to run them the fuck down. Natural selection, after all, right? You wouldn't walk down the middle of an actual street, what makes it okay in the parking lots? And they always walk too fucking slow! They are a fucktard with 4 kids in tow, each one dumber than the last. Normally one is playing with a toy airplane, making it run into cars, and another is staggering along, drooling down his shirt. Stupidity breeds stupidity. Some people need to be sterilized. These kids are the ones who grow up to bully other kids, sell their soul to fit in, and think that being quarterback on the high school football team means everything. Yes, it means that you'll be at the grocery store bagging my groceries.
And fuck those morons who can't put their carts back in the cart return. Yes, that might require walking 5 extra feet. Lord knows their fat asses need the exercise. Sometimes, I can see if they parked way out in the middle of the parking lot and it's raining but come on. I've seen carts sitting 10 feet from the cart return...in the middle of the god damn parking space so no one else can park there.
IN the store, there are always the inconsiderate fucks who leave their carts in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING AISLE, making it impossible for anyone to pass them. They waste 5 minutes, their asses sticking up in the air, searching for an off brand version of penne noodles! I wish I could just take the fucking noodles and shove them up her ass. Go, you fucking old cunt! You'll be dead before you can get the water to boil.
I had this man one time stop his cart in front of me and go back about 10 feet, looking through the spices. I wish I could describe his face when I rammed his shit out of the way. I wanted to pick up the cart and make it a permanent feature of the baking goods setup. Fuck you. Don't think that you can block my way because you need to look for cinnamon and don't think I'm laughing off the thoughtlessness either. I'm laughing so I don't kill you. I'm laughing so you don't see my true intentions of following you outside and ramming my cart into your door. Over and over until it's denting in and you're calling the police on some woman off her meds.
Fuck grocery stores.