Waterbed of Lies

What's the one thing is this country that consumers have destroyed, yet is a necessity, completely free, and continues to grow in abundance as we choose not to utilize it? Our water supply, silly.

A group of us were compelled to go to a Starbuck's, and I notice they now sell bottled water complete with a hipster label stating the company will donate a portion of sales to drought-ridden nations in Africa. And I suddenly became very sad.

It's hipster because it's hot-button of the week bullshit. Why bullshit?


This is a little girl from Somalia awaiting her turn for a ration of water. You see, within the sub-Saharan "Horn" of Africa, the middle east, India, and even China, a water-scarcity crisis has been going on for years. What's ironic is that the same countries Westerners scoff at for being poor, dirty, disease-ridden, and unsafe are those countries where people bust their withered asses trying to better their homes the same way we do.

Industrial development, expansion of agricultural lands, increased food production and needs, higher demand for goods, products, and services - they're all going to lead to an overuse of natural resources, those of which get dried up - and no, it's not their fault.

Desertification, climate change, pollution, interference from higher nations, lack of education, even melting ice caused by global warming and pollutants - will take its toll on a nation whose water supplies aren't great. You can't boom without the very basics to back you up.

So imagine a water problem in America. Prices will skyrocket like with gas. Hygiene will be the first to go. The water company will shut you off for so many hours a day. Then the looting will start. Outrage hits the White House as reality sinks in, but everyone expects as much as they want, of anything they want, when they want - cuz they're in America. Soon grocery stores will be sold out of most anything containing liquid, only because if they were to limit purchases to keep fat hoarders from stocking up, more than a few bag boys and cashiers will be found beaten after dark.

Not that it'll matter. Soon people will break into eachother's houses, thanks to mob mentality leading neighbors to believe Bob's house has so many gallons in a safe or basement. Schools will be shut down, and hospitals will begin to overflow. Now police don't want to waste hydration chasing after criminals. They have their own families to protect at home. Firemen are putting their hoses away for good, too. Let shit burn. There are no restaurants in business anymore; it's far safer, cheaper, and easily regulated to reserve water for protected farmland leading to healthy, nutritious raw crops. Of course, those now have to be rationed out, since it only takes the very rich to afford a meal like one once could go down the street for...

Yeah, it'd be complete chaos. And for us? All that is just the first couple of weeks. Now imagine over 800,000,000 who live in the aftermath daily. Only for them they don't even have memories of brighter days. 40,000,000,000 work hours, 50% of hospital beds, and over 2,200,000 lives are lost a year due to water scarcity. Well, more specifically, due to:

hepatitis A
e. coli
vibrio illness
infant mortality

And a lot of it can be fixed thanks to proper filtering and purification. The same crap we have here in the U.S. and all advanced nations on the globe. And what do those hipsters do? They say it's foul.

We're lucky to live in a nation where any type of water can and is filtered, and filtered again, and chemically treated, and treated again, and checked, and checked again, all before it's pumped in a sanitary fashion directly to your fucking house - and many have the balls to claim it's not good enough?

So what they then do is go to a local grocery store to purchase bottled water. Which is NOT FROM A MAGIC SPRING. What spring flows unfettered in Pennsylvania? Delaware? Anywhere in this fucking country? Or pretty much anywhere else, for that matter? Nowhere they'd ship it to a Try-n'-Save, I guarantee you. Water from a truly untouched, 100% virgin source wouldn't cost .99 and have a Nestle logo on it. It's the same crap from a tap that goes through a company's version of a purifier instead of your county's waterworks. If anything, I'd think that makes it worse.

To top it off, you buy gallons-worth of this stuff in plastic bottles. Only recently did they start stating their plastic is "partially" recycled, as if it somehow makes it better. You could do more for your environment using a glass at home.

Then they have Brita taps and the like, which is actually more of a waste. How about you hipsters think about what it takes factories to manufacture private purification taps, only for people to use them once and toss like junk in a drawer? Cuz that's the only place I ever see them in people's houses.

I have a good idea. If you want truly pure, untouched water for your discerning palate? Don't brag to me about Evian or Fiji. Fly to Mars or the moon of Titan to break up some of the sub-surface ice. Then your tastes will be legitimate.

Uploaded 11/07/2012
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