Ways to know you need a new lawyer

...speaks for itself XD

 1. During your initial consultation he tries to
 sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a

 3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is,
 they high-five each other.

 4. He picks the jury by playing

5. During the trial you catch him playing his

6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."

 7. A prison guard is shaving your head.

 8. Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack
 Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.

 9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.

 10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the
 defense table.

 11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally
 McBeal once said ..."

 12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v.

13.Just before trial starts he whispers"the  judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes
 those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

 15. The sign in front of his law office reads
"Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

16.Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

17. He giggles every time he hears the word

Uploaded 06/12/2008
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