Ways to look like a Face-douche

 Almost everyone has a Facebook. And all the users face the same problem. "How can I be the biggest Facebook douche bag?" It's rather simple actually. Here are some ways to do so.


1. Profile Picture


-Make sure to take a picture with all of your douche bag friends. They will multiply your doucheiness.

-Hold up a drink. Nothing says 'douche bag' like a bottle of smirnoff ice. If you want to enhance it, put the drink close to your mouth and smile. Just like that. You really are a douche bag now.

-Get a tan. If you're a whore like most female Facebook users, go for the Snookie look. If you're a male, gel your hair up and wear really shiny jewlery. This is the best way to incoroperate your favorite douche bag show(Jersey Shore) with your favorite douche bag site(Facebook)


2. Friends


-Add everybody you know. If your real friends don't have a Facebook, pressure them into getting one; then add them.

-Add random people. Other douche bags love random friend request. Send them one every once and a while, they might cum on their computer screen. I know I do.

-Notice. Notice how all your friends look very similar to you. Use that to your advantage. Have them post comments on your page saying how much they love your picture.


3. Interest


-Make sure your interest include MTV, even though MTV is already under your Tv shows, music and favorite books. People will think you are dedicated to the douche bag movement,

-Make sure you have atleast 4 things the show how much you love excersise.

-Make sure shopping is there as well. Remember all of your friends love to shop, and you love to shop. And you love your friends don't you.


4. About you


-Include very ambigious quotes from famous writers, and philosophers. None of your douche bag friends will understand, but they will think you do. The trick is, you don't.

-Talk about how much you love the environment. When we all know you don't give a shit abou anything other than yourself.

-Tell everyone that you voted for Obama because you love smoking weed, and Obama said he would legalize it for you.



If you follow these steps, you will be the ultimate Face-Douche. I guarantee it. Good night.

Uploaded 11/30/2010
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