My wife asked me if my in-law's offer to put in a bid for  a couch and love seat that occupied the front lobby  of a apartment complex  would be a Christmas gift I would want.  They would make and pay the bid and I would get one couch and one love seat as my Christmas gift. I told her, "No, that was not something I wanted".  I thought to myself a communal couch is definitively not something I  want in my house.


She laughed and told me that she said, "He would love it". I've asked her many times not to answer for me, it can really piss me off, especially when she volunteers me for some social work. I really feel it is important to help people, but let me decide who I help.


Of course, I have to find the time and means of going to the apartment complex moving the couches and bringing then back home. My van is a workshop on wheels so now I have to empty it, and put it all in my garage. Not only that, but my job is in the West end and the furniture is in the East end. This will cost me at least three hours of my time. 


I had a lot of pressure placed on me to get it as my wife was excited, "For a used couch?"  I was, "Fuck this is going to cost me three bills in lost time and inconvenience".  At the same time I felt  guilty  I was being unappreciative of my in-laws generosity. 


After much ado, I went today to pick up the furniture. I turned over the couch to remove the legs, one was broken, and there within the skirting was what looked like hundreds of spider cocoons. Small cotton balls with little creatures inside. I assume spiders because they are the least offensive to me. I have no idea what they really are, but there is no God damn way  I will bring that shit into my house. 


When I arrived home to my excited wife, I told her the bad news and due to her spontaneity, we had a horrible and embarrassing situation on our hands and she will be the one to deal with it.  Now she is all depressed and fuck me I have to deal with this shit!  Not only that but we are putting on the Christmas dinner and my in-laws are so proud they provided us some new seating.  They don't even want us to mention it to the rest of the family fearing they might be jealous of the generous gift. 


I hate to break their hearts, I'd even buy a brand new set that looks identical, but where the fuck will I find that?  



A Musical Interlude, Not Bad, Give it a chance, the kids are cute as spit!