What Is Your Favorite Curseword?

After writing for 6 years or so online, I've come across many profound and colorful words to describe just about anything you can come across.

Of course, I've always been partial to insults. Just about anything with the word "fuck" in it could be used in a particularly scathing manner.

"Fuckface", "Fucktard", "Fuckhole", and "Fuckstain" are just a few. "Shitfuck" is also funny in a relatively uninspired way, but I think it only works best when uttered while drinking heavily. Sometimes, even an appropriately placed "Fuck yourself" or "Get fucked" can be ten times more effective than a string of cleverly worded expletives. It all depends on the context.

"Douchebag" never really did it for me for some reason. I always found calling somebody an "inconsiderate douche", or even just a simple "used douche" was somehow more effective than the standard that "Douchebag" became. Attaching the "bag" at the end was always a little too cumbersome for my tastes..... like there really was an actual bag of shit just hanging off my lips.

I think there is a certain glee that everybody can take when they're cussing another user out online. Sure, it's always satisfying to know that nobody can feasibly track you down and punch you in the taint over a few insults (unless you're stupid enough to post your information around for everybody to see) but I think it goes beyond anonymity.

It's being able to piss on somebody's leg and laughing about it, knowing full well you're going to wake up the next day and finding that somebody decided to drop a two-flush corn-log in your new sneakers.

That's another one I like. All the little euphemisms for dicks, vaginas, shit, and fucking can lead to a happier existence.

Don't call it a "cock", "wang", or even a "prick". "Pecker" is ok, because it's largely unused by everybody who knows what it's like NOT fucking their sisters.

Call it an "Ankle spanker", "Lunchmeat truncheon" or even "Winky the milk-spitting tunnel ferret".


"Cunt" can be a hit-or-miss. I would rather tell you that I will "punch you in the cunt" than call you a straight-out "cunt". "Cunt" is a little like "fuck" in that it's pretty tame by itself. Calling a woman a "Cuntcake" or even just describing her as "Cunty" seems to be MUCH more effective in getting under the collective skins of femme-nazis everywhere who want to ABOLISH the word.

By the way, if you say "The C-Word", "The N-Word", or "The Anything-Word", then you need to have your scrotum crazy-glued to your floor and your house burned down around you with a dull steak-knife JUST at your fingertips. It's a cop-out, and you're a limp-wristed faggot if you can't handle it.

Yes, "Faggot" is another perfectly acceptable insult when preceded with something to magnify the term.


"You couldn't punch your way out of a faggot's tea party" is another of my favorites.


Overall, there's really an infinite supply of insults and cursewords to work with. Hopefully we'll be able to work together to see who can come up with the most insulting, scathing, and soul-crushing string of expletives. But if I were to pick a single one.....


..... just ONE swearword as my favorite......





Uploaded 12/02/2009
  • 0 Favorites
  • Flag
  • Stumble
  • Pin It