What to Bring with You, and Wear to an Interview. Trades Version


So recently I have been career hunting and while I have been on interviews there are stunning things I have noticed by the other candidates.  Simple things that people over look that could make or break getting a position in a company.

                First, guys.  Always brush your teeth.  It doesnt matter if you know people who work there with garlic breath. People have to work along side of you, just brush your face when you wake up, it takes 2 minutes.

                Second, both guys and girls.  Bring a  ceder shim or piece of  cardboard and write things down.  Also bring a carpenters pencil or colored crayon. A real carpenters pencil, it is a flat pencil with a soft thick lead. Buy a few, place one behind your ear and another in your breast pocket.

                Third, as a continuation to the second thing, ask how much you will be getting paid, and dont write down the answers you get.  Nothing can be better than just sitting there and staring at the cute ladies walking by as you sit in the interviewers pick up truck.  Dont write questions down before hand. The only things you will need to know are, what time do we start, when do we quit and my hourly rate. If you need to write that shit down, then the interviewer will think you are a dolt. Never write down their answers to these simple questions! Just write down contact numbers or addresses.

                Fourth, wear a well made measuring tape.  Doesnt have to be all fancy.  A $10 Stanley from Wal Mart works well.  Im like most people I just eyeball my measurements.  But, on an interview I either have a brand new tape measure, or if policy at the company bans measuring tapes I will have a yard stick.  It sounds dumb but it catches the interviewers eye.

                Fifth, speak with words and hand signals.  So many times I have been picked for positions because the boss sees I can use my hands effectively in loud environments.  Using Ebonics, street speech, ghetto gab, or just normal slang does not help you in anyway.

                Sixth, wear a hard hat and full cover steel toed boots.  Dont polish them, or give a quick coat of kiwi ultra shine, it doesnt help.  If you take the time to do this the interviewer will wonder if you have homosexual tendencies while working.

                Seventh, arrive early with an extra cup of Tim Hortons coffee. He will immediately recognize you as one of the boys.  Dont show up to an interview with a C.P. (colored person) or f.l.p. (fucking lazy person) be five minutes early, not more, or the coffee will get cold.  You never know, the prospective employer may not have had a cup of coffee yet and might be edgy.

                Eighth, and final.  Before you leave tell the interviewer you have a really hot sister interested in joining the trades for her first time and say, she would make an excellent addition to the crew in the future.

                Just remember that youre trying to sell yourself, dont pretend you are some hot shot and will always show up for work fully enthusiastic, this is just BS and your future boss knows it.
Uploaded 05/27/2011
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