Old people, besides our grandparents and the little old lady from wedding singer, we fucking hate them. We can not wait until they die because all they do is fuck shit up. They drive 15  mph in the left lane on the highway, they smell, they take forever on line at the supermarket, they cant hear, they are just completely useless.

We cant fight them because if you fight an old person, your a sick fuck. Now im not going to lie the thought runs through my mind daily of how badly i would fuck up an old person. Everytime i walk by an old man i just want to punch him right in the side of the head and watch him go down hard. These thoughts need to remain thoughts. I mean imagine actually seeing somebody fight an old lady for taking too long at the supermarket taking out all of her coupons. Just uppercutting her and then getting on top and just hitting her with non stop flurrys. You would probably kill the little lady but you would also probably get killed by everyone else who witnessed this. Even though they felt the same and wanted to fight this old bitch, they know, you just dont fight old people.

What does an old persons day consist of. Waking up at 2 am. Going for a walk / standing still as the earth spins under there feet causing them to move. Having tea. Watching talk shows and ordering things from QVC. Going to sleep at 7 pm. Now this is there general day. But when you add in some curveballs like driving or talking on the phone, you just put a lot of lifes in danger. First off, driving. Now when an old person gets behind the wheel, the entire highways life is in danger. Besides the fact 90% of them cant see over the steering wheel and they dont believe in turning their heads for blind spots, when they switch lanes, cutting off the 18 wheeler going 85 mph to make his delivery ontime, disaster will strike. The 18 wheeler will know a mile ahead there is an old person ahead because of the traffic in the left lane and the car that is going so fucking slow. A man of the road, he feels bad for the old man behind the wheel. So he takes the initiative of speeding in the middle lane to show people, Hey lets give the guy a break and just use the middle and right lane. So the 18 wheeler is cruising, hes got his hand out the window telling people follow me, hes blasting some lynard skynard, hes on top of the world. Then, the old man switches lanes in front of the 18 wheeler. The man feels betrayed and although wanting to kill the old man, he knows in his heart, he can not. So he turns the wheel into the right lane plowing through 4 minivans filled with children and working mothers, 2 mercedes of successful businessmen and a couple other cars, killing everyone in them instantly. As all of this happens right to the right of the old man he has no idea what he caused because like all old drivers, they have tunnell vision and could only see directly in front of them.

So what should we do with old people. When they hit age 65, they take a test. They take a test that determines whether we should keep them alive and a driving test. If they fail the "Living Test" we lethally inject them. On the spot. The last thing we want is an old man speeding for the border to dodge execution. However if they pass the living test they will be required to take it once every year. Now if they fail the driving test. We cut off their legs and make them wheel chair bound. Once again, on the spot to reduce the chances of any problems. If they pass, well they get to still drive but this test is to be taken once every month. Hopefully, discouraging the old person from driving anymore.