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why cant i leave it be?

ok ive been i highschool since august and i have to say so far its kickass! theres players at every turn, and as many wemon as there is planks in the gym(a lot). but for some reason theres this one girl who i cant leave alone just yet. ok ill start at the begining.closer to the begining of the school year i was going to ask her out but the day i was i stuble across alarming news some other guy asked her out just then. my body went numb and i was realy sad for a few days. but one day a couple weeks later i was over at her house and we were watching tv. all of a sudden her hand started to slip down my side and on to my leg as she gets closer i ask what shes doing. but before i could  say any thing else she kiss me. now im not sure at this point.but for some reason i kick out of my normal mind and react i start to kiss her back and i started to get in a frenzy and i lost control. but suddenly her dad walks in. at this point im realy nerves but he dosnt seem to know anything. she smiles and says to keep it a secret.well time after time this shit happens. and i cant hold it in. her boyfriend has no idea and says things he has no base on." oh you wish you could be". " she never liked you , your such a idiot". and im about to just bust and screem out loud. but i dont want to hurt  her in the process and never have a chance. so this is were i ask my question. why cant i leave it be?

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