Why I've Been Away

Some of you may have noticed that I've been away for the most part for a few days.  It's not that I don't think you guys are fun and lovable.  It's just that a rather strange development occurred.  I got a call from my ex-fiancee' a few days ago.


Now, I think she's pretty good looking for having had three kids, but she does have some problems.  It's also hard for me to forget the heartache she caused me that gave me heart failure and the cutting off contact as I was going through surgery.  She caused me severe emotional pain at the time I was going through the worst physical pain I can recall having.

When she called, she said, "I want to come to you."  That reminded me of a song.

I sang it to her when we were breaking up.

Well, I believe in forgive and forget, but it's really not all that easy to do, especially when, since she cut off contact, I've been talking with a lovely Canadian woman who had brought me smiles and laughter almost every day.

Don't worry.  She doesn't always look like a witch.  This was just a costume for a Halloween party she was going to.

I have to think to Proverbs 31:10-31 when I consider what I should do here.

Proverbs 31:10-31

New International Version (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character 10[a]A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:10 Verses 10-31 are an acrostic poem, the verses of which begin with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

The redhead has been having severe problems with alcohol addiction.  She has been going from house to house trying to find someone with whom she could stay.  Between the break up and her loosing her kids due to her severe alcoholism, she has sunk to nearly becoming a prostitute.  She sent me this picture just before she got kicked out of the place she was staying for talking to me on the phone.


I met this woman in 1997 or 1998 when I was looking for musicians for the Woodstock 40th Anniversary concert.  She was a very good keyboard player and played for Dweezil Zappa before her dive into alcoholism.  We became very close and did get engaged.


Still, what she did that caused me so much heartbreak was more than enough to make anyone break off an engagement.  Yes, she was a beer alcoholic and she was in the hospital on about the heaviest pain medication that they can give at the time the incident happened, but I've never been so out of my head on the same pain medication that I would cheat on a partner... especially not unprotected.  I'm a little old fashioned that way.

Well, now she has lost the child (it was stillborn), and now she wants me back.  To take her back, I would have to give up the relationship with my lovely Canadian friend.  Hmmm... Do I want a woman who makes me laugh and smile or do I want a woman who give me pain and heartache? Decisions, decisions.

Uploaded 08/25/2011
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