Why would a guy like that want a girl like me?

SO the past 6 months been going through some serious shit, I have really just have had it all around. Stressed out to the max, but yet I hold my head up high and keep on trucking. Around the time of my life changing I went out to see a group of people I havet seen in almost 10yrs. Its was a great time.

As I sat at the bar nursing my import, a friend came up to me that wasnt really part of my circle back then. But we were always friendly nonetheless. A great convo insued, but was cut short due to everyone leaving. We exchanged numbers and decided to keep in touch. Here and there we would speak through IMs or texting. nothing serious, He always said if I needed a friend to talk to he was there. I didnt really take him up on it becuase why should i burdeon someone else with my issues?

Well, I found myself here and there speaking to him about what I was going through and how i felt about things. Like life and love, and how I wanted to be loved and grow old with someone, and how i longed to meet someone where I changed his life from the moment he met me and couldnt live without me. (I know delusions of love.) How scared I was to get hurt again, but how ready I ws to date again no matter how lreluctant I was about it and how I seemed to find the guys that only wanted one thing from me. Like I had "naughty" tattooed on my forehead.

He started to tell me how since he ran into me that night, how he hasn't been able to stop thinking about me, how awsome i was. For three days it was non stop convo and texts. Within those convos I started to learn more about his life, turns out he is disgustingly successful and loaded. He comes from a family of money and earned his own fortune, and is able to retire at 40. which is in 8yrs.

Now, i am far from a gold digger, matter of fact I am the girl that always gives the under dog a chance. I seem to date the ones that have nothing, and when they rebuild there lives   then I am out the door. Always told that if I stick with them through the thick, they see how much of a "keeper" I am. Yea ok, keeper until your life is nice then boom you want a better model. However, after I am dumped, they still want to fuck me but never love me.

Now we decided to hang out yesturday, and I realized alot of what they say is true, when you have that kind of money. It really is a completely different lifestyle. Never do you have to worry aout saving, you can just get up and go. Anything you have ever wanted to buy you can. But I didnt experience that lifestyle yest. What I experienced was hidden,

Now one thing i have been leaving out was the fact that he does indeed have a girlfriend, but as the usual story goes, its complicated and he is not happy. I told him that I was not a test subject to his relationship. He knows how scared I am to be hurt. He told me he doesnt want it to be unfsir to anyone including me, and he doesnt want to upset me. We talked at length about alot of stuff, while driving around and smoking. We took my car because he just bought his and didnt want to smoke in it. His car was very nice so I dont blame him. So there we sat, in my beat up car, I wasnt expecting to be driving so my car was a mess. How embarrassed I was for him to be in my car. I looked at my life and started to feel ashamed, but we were having a really good time so I stopped feeling that way.

He talked about how it should be my turn for someone to take care of me, i explained to him I wasnt used to that. He said how he knows that he wasnt happy with her and the next step in their relationship was marriage and he wasnt going to marry her. He really wound up saying everything right to me. One thing led to another and we started to kiss and then, well you guessed it we had sex. It was amazing, such a connection was there, the eye contact everything felt amazing. But it was so wrong. He cheated on her with me. I have always said I would never be the other woman because I know how it feels to be the woman that gets hurt. But I gave into my better judgement. After we were done, I felt weird. I knew I gave in to what he wanted, and put myself out there. Again.

 I wanted him to not leave and ask me to hang with him, for the rest of the night But it never came. We got dressed smoked a little bit more. He told me how he had to leave. As he was leaving he said, Ill call you when I am single, because I cannot be around you unless I am, He said he wanted to explore this with me and needed to figure things out. But for some odd reason I felt what he was saying was all apart of his game. Afraid his life would blow up in his face and he was doing damage control.  I sat in my car and felt used. I knew what he wanted and I gave it to him.  I knew the game he was talking and I fell for it.

So the text messages and phone calls stopped, he normally would text me all day, just BSing. But he stopped now. I havent heard a peep from him. and I dont think I ever will again. I believe that he just wanted a piece of ass and went slumming for it. Why would a guy like that want a fool like me? I got played and I know it. This was something I def did not want to happen, but I allowed it and I am the one with more than an egg on my face.

Uploaded 02/21/2010
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