Have you ever waited tables? Worked retail? Sold fast fattening food to slow fattened people? Based on how badly you treat cashiers and other such service workers, I'm guessing not.

Every one of us has been in a store, restaurant or coffee shop where the workers just plain suck. They dawdle, they don't pay attention, they're texting, they're scratching private body parts. I'll grant you this. And you probably should say something about the service, either to the employees themselves or their managers. (Although I'd probably go with the managers...the employees probably don't care what you think.)

But when I see you out with your girlfriend, and you are intentionally treating the waiter like crap in an effort to impress your shallow lady, you just make me sick. Whether it's snapping your fingers at him, sending him back to get your drink remade for the fifth time just because you can, or generally giving the poor schlub attitude because you think it makes your johnson look bigger, you are demonstrating all the worst attributes of humankind, namely pissing on the little guy.

Just because someone's job is to put up with you and smile, that doesn't mean you have to be an jerk. If the girl at Starbuck's is out of apple fritters, don't take it out on her; it's not her fault you couldn't get out of bed earlier because you were up too late tending your Farmville crops. When your coupons are expired by six months and the slow guy at Rite Aid can't accept them, suck it up. Is 30 cents off a quart of shampoo really worth trampling on a stranger's feelings?

And by the way, I've been told that I should give you a pass if you're old.

Sorry. Not today.

As one of society's longer-lived members, you should be quite familiar with being the object of abuse and contempt. (If you don't understand what I mean, check in your rear-view mirror next time you are leading a line of cars down a 40 mph road, doing 25. The folks behind you will be glad to clear up my point for you.) If anyone should be sympathetic to these mistreated peons, it should be you. So stop cutting in line at Wendy's to yell at the guy who didn't give you enough ketchup. He doesn't know you hoard those things in your purse for emergencies.

You don't seem to understand that servers are people too, and that is why I don't want to hang out with you.

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