1) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

2) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

3) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

4) You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

5) Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

6) Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

7) If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

8) Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."

9) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.

10) You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.