10. "Martha's carving the turkey with a shiv"

9. "The yams really accentuate your jumpsuit"

8. "Let's give thanks that we live in a country where vast wealth still has a good shot at keeping you out of prison"

7. "Federal agents -- come out -- you're surrounded"

6. "I didn't feel like doing much this year, so everything's from Roy Rogers"

5. "A meal like that is worth a dozen cartons of cigarettes"

4. "I don't know about justice, but you sure obstructed my diet tonight"

3. "I'm totally gonna bid on that couch at the government auction"

2. "Malt liquor -- it's a good thing"

1. "We should do this again in 4 to 6 years"