A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices a dishy blonde behind him has raised her hand and is smiling at him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and, although she is familiar, he can't place where he knows her from, so he says, ''sorry, do you know me?''
She replies, ''i may be mistaken, but i think you may be the father of one of my children.'' His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful.
''Christ!'' he says. ''Are you the strippergram on my stag night that i shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates?''
''No,'' she replies, ''i'm your son's english teacher.''