These classified ads were really put in the paper.



FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . able to leap tall fences in a single
bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent
condition. $200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month.
Wife knows damn near everything.