And it came to pass...

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that
The people of the land called America, having lost
Their morals, their initiative, and their will to
Defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme
Leader that person known as The One. He emerged from
The vapors with a message that had no meaning; but
He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to
Save you. My lack of experience, my questionable
Ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with
Evildoers are of no consequence. For I shall save
You with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and pro-0
Claim throughout the land that he who preceded me
Is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that
All he has built must be destroyed."
And the people rejoiced. For even though they knew
Not what The One would do, He had promised that it
Was good; and they believed.
And The One said, "We live in the greatest country
In the world. Help me change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Change is
Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-
And the people said "Sock it to them!" " And
Redistribute their wealth."
And the people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is
Good for everybody"
And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me?
You're going to steal my money and give it to the
And The One ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's
Personal records were hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist
And she was banished from the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations
Experience and having zero military experience or
Knowledge, how will you deal with radical
And The One said, "Simple. I shall sit with them
And talk with them and show them how nice we really
Are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to
Kill us all!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at
Last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for
The people!"
Then The One said, "I shall give 95% of you lower
And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay
ANY taxes."
So The One said, "Then I shall give you some of
The taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the
Then The One said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains
When you sell your homes!"
And the people yawned and the slumping housing
Market collapsed.
And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded
Health care for EVERY Worker and raise the minimum
Wage. And I shall give every person unlimited health
Care and medicine and transportation to the
And the people said, "Gim'me some of that!"
Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship
Jobs overseas."
And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then The One said, "I shall bankrupt the coal
Industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"
And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil,
No more coal! But we don't care for that part about
Higher electric rates."
So The One said, "Not to worry. If your rebate
Isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail
You out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles
Are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and
Slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security,
Free education, free lunches, free medical care,
Bilingual signs and guaranteed housing."
And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made
Him King!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing
Spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their
Prices and lay off workers. Others simply gave up
And went out of business and the economy sank like
Unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking
Industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
Crawl. And more of the people were without a means
Of support.
Then The One said, "I am the The One, The Messiah,
And I'm here to save you! We shall just print more
Money so everyone will have enough!"
But our foreign trading partners said unto Him,
"Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of
Camel dung! You will have to pay more."
And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is
And the world said, "Neither are these other
Idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have
Become a Socialist State and a second-rate power.
Now you shall play by our rules!"
And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have
we done?"
But yea verily, it was too late. The people set
upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and
his name was dung. And the once mighty Nation was
no more; and the once proud people were without
sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change The
One had given them was as like unto a poison that
had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that
consumed all that they had built.
And the people beat their chests in despair and
cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and
our pride and our hope!!"
But it was too late, and their homeland was no
You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not.
It's happening RIGHT NOW! One Big Mistake, America!

*I didnt create this, I just wanted to see people complain about how long this thing was... Congrats to you if you made it this far...
Uploaded 05/19/2009
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