two guys were in an airport, and they both had black eyes. so someone walks by and asks how they each got them. the first guy says, i kinda messed up what i was supposed to say, the ticket lady had big boobs, so instead of asking for two tickets to pittsburg, i asked for two pickets to titsburg, and she punched me giving me the black eye, and the 2nd guy says yeah, mine was like that too, i was at the dinner table with my wife, and instead of saying, honey? can you pass the potatoes? i said you ruined my life you whore!