Cool quotes and funny one-liners

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

When in doubt, mumble.

Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next there to it.

The Lord gave us the power to procreate. So, let's practice!

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
Uploaded 06/09/2011
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