Dictionary of Women's Terms

--Dictionary for Women's Personal Ads--

40-ish: 49
Adventurous: Slept with EVERYONE
Athletic: No Tits
Average Looking: Ugly
Beautiful: Pathological Liar
Contagious Smile: Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure: On Medication
Feminist: Fat
Free Spirit: Junkie
Friendship first: Former very "friendly" person
New Age: Body Hair in the wrong places
Open-Minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
Professional: Bitch
Voluptuous: Very Fat
Large Frame: Hugely Fat
Wants Soul Mate: Stalker

--Women's English--

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you'll pay for it later
9. I am not upset = of course I'm upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you think about?

--Men's English--

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice Cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you wanna have sex?
7. May I have this dance = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you some time? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay...


If a woman is complaining about menstrual cramps, periods, child birth, and back pain due to large breasts, retort by saying, "Well, that's what you all get for eating the Apple..."
Uploaded 04/04/2009
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