How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex.

Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
They'll never see you coming.

What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.

Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!

Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A scrotum pole!

What's the ultimate in rejection?
When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
''How come?''

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.

What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.