Girl Quotes Translated

Quote Number 1:” I love you like a brother.”

Translation: Having sex with you is as appealing to me as incest.

Quote Number 2:” I really like you as a friend.”

Translation: I’d rather get impaled by a narwhal than have sexual intercourse with you.

Quote Number 3: “Being in a relationship would ruin our friendship.”

Translation: Being stabbed by a knife and being stabbed by your penis would lead to similar outcomes, me in tears.

Quote Number 4: “You’re too nice to date.”

Translation: Grow some balls, bitch.

Quote Number 5: “You’re so great. I’m glad someone listens to my problems.”

Translation: You know what else always listens to my problems? My cat. It has no life either.

Quote Number 6: “I love you…”

Translation: Like a teddy bear. And no, I won’t have sex with you. I’m not a furry.

Quote Number 7: “My boyfriend is such an asshole. Let me tell you about him.”

Translation: Hey, you kind of remind me of Dr. Phil. It’s probably the baldness.

Quote Number 8: “You’re so sweet.”

Translation: Cotton candy is sweet too and I’m sure as hell not dating that.

Quote Number 9: “Do you want to go to the movies?”

Translation: No one is paying for me to see Twilight.

Quote Number 10: “I’m just not ready for a boyfriend.”

Translation: Don’t take rejection too hard. We can still watch terrible romantic comedies together.

Guy Quotes Translated (Translation wasn’t overly difficult.)

Quote Number 1: “Hey.”

Translation: Sex?

Quote Number 2: “You’re a good friend.”

Translation: Sex?

Quote Number 3: I admit it. I love you

Translation: Just love me back! And also…sex?