God's Evolution of Man.

Just because you believe in God doesn't mean you have to reject Charlie D's theory of evolution. So here's what happened:
In the beginning God created the universe - all the stars and galaxies and black holes and planets etc. He then spent a while admiring what He had set in place, watching the moons revolve around the planets, the planets revolving around the stars, the stars revolving around the black holes, but eventually He got bored with it. However, He didn't want to destroy what He had gone to such great lengths to make, so He decided to make things that could live and move of their own will and inhabit some of the planets He had made.
His first move was to create the dinosaurs. He had fun watching them for a while, but that eventually wore off when He realized that they weren't very big on intelligence, and that if He gave it to creatures that big they would overpopulate the world faster than he could blink. So He took an asteroid and wiped them out to start again with smaller creatures - mammals.
He made the mammals and analyzed each one to see which would be the best candidate for intelligence. His choice: apes.
He improved on the apes over the generations and started becoming optimistic when He had created the first animals of the genus Homo. When he made the Neanderthals he was excited that he was almost done but still believed that they needed a few finishing touches.
When He had finally made the apes into homo sapiens He looked at his creations, said "oh fuck it!" and left us the idiots we are today.
Uploaded 12/09/2008
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Tags: god evolution