A man who has recently come into some money decides to hire a professional to teach him how to play golf. On his first day he is doing terribly so the pro says to him,

"Hold the club as if you were holding your wifes breasts, make sure your grip is firm but at the same time be gentle."

The man takes his advice and is astonished that he hits the ball a good 300 yards.
He goes home to tell his wife of the good progress and in doing so encourages her to try learning also.
The next day his wife has a session with the pro and she is as equally awful as her husband first was so the pro says to her,

"Hold the club as if it were your husbands penis, be gentle but at the same time have a firm grip"

She hits the ball a paltry fifty yards, the pro then turns to her and says,

"That was actually really impressive, now take the club out of your mouth and try again."