How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Damn."

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexics Association.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.