An elderly couple was just settling into bed one night. All was quiet when suddenly the old man lets out a huge fat "Prrmph!"

Startled, the old woman said, "What the hell was that?"

"Touchdown, 6-nil!"

Not to be outdone the old woman strains and lets out a small one "Field goal, 6-3!"

Back and forth they go. 7-3 and then 7-9 and it was the husband's turn. He tried and tried but he couldn't muster anything. He strained, face purple, and to his dismay--shit the bed.

"What was that?" the old woman asks.

"Halftime! Switch sides!"