Backup - What you do when you run across a varmint in the woods.

Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick to work.

Byte - What your pitbull done to cousin Billy-Bob.

Chip - Cow pasture surprises that you try not to step in.

Terminal - When yer about to die.

Crash - When you go to Jethro's party uninvited.

Digital - The art of counting on yer fingers.

Diskette - Female who dances the disco.

Fax - What you lie about to the IRS and yer wife.

Hacker - Uncle Willie after 32 years of smoking.

Hardcopy - Picture used to help you select a tattoos.

Internet - Where cafeteria ladies put their hair.

Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to yer John Deere.

Mac - Big John's favorite fast food.

Megahertz - How your head feels after 13 beers.

Modem - What you do when the grass gets so high that it hides the pickup truck that you have on blocks in the front yard.

Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie call home.

Network - Scoopin' a big