Hilarious Truck Ad I Found

I found this ad on craigslist.

new lowered price for this weekend only, $3500 down from $4500!!!! OK, let me start off by saying this f150 is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Ford would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.
It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.
This truck was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 460 big block engine to not only outrun the cops but the ability to park on your neibhors h3. It's got special blood/gore resistant advanced auto seat cover. The Ford also has an automatic C6 transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.
It has room for you and the two hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield on november 1st to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $4500, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1500. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.
There's only 107000 miles on this arazona origional four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.
To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in about 1000-1500 in parts including a new set of door shells. The ford also has a 4 inch rancho lift and pretty much brand new 33" bfg mud terrains
rock on.
email me for any questions you need answered or additional pics your need, i will warn you the pics dont do it justice come see it in person.
price is obo.
Uploaded 02/03/2009
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