An Irishman is playing golf in Ireland and hits one into the woods. He finds his ball next to a little man lying on the ground, so he goes over and revives the guy.

The leprechaun (for of course that's what he is) is grateful that the man bothered to see that he was okay, so offers to grant him three wishes.

The man demurs, saying that he has everything he needs. His modesty only impresses the leprechaun more, who is determined now to do something for the guy. He thinks to himself, I'm going to grant him the wishes anyway. I know what he wants, because it's always the same thing: money, health, and sex. So as the guy leaves, the leprechaun grants the wishes secretly behind his back and goes on his merry way.

A year later, the same guy is playing the same course, and on the same hole he hits the ball into the woods again. He finds his ball, and next to it stands the leprechaun. The leprechaun smiles and asks the guy how his year has gone.

The fellow says, "Quite well, thanks."

The leprechaun, looking smug, says, "Thought so. And what about money, then? Ye've got what ye need?"

The man says, "Funny you should mention that. Right after I left the golf course last year I found a bag with a million dollars in it. I tried to find the owner, but no one stepped forward, so after a couple months the authorities just gave it to me. I've been more than comfortable ever since."

The leprechaun looks even more smug. "Excellent. And what about your health?"

The man says, "Well, I used to get every cold and flu virus that came along, but last year--nothing. I've been the picture of health."

The leprechaun is beaming by now. "Thought so. And how's it going with the ladies, lad?"

The man says, "Oh, I can't complain. I have sex once or twice a week."

The leprechaun suddenly looks shocked. "Only twice a week? That can't be right!"

The man says, "Oh, for a Catholic priest in a small parish, it's not bad at all."