A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and says, “I’ll bet anyone in here a beer that my pet octopus here can play any instrument you bring before it.” So, a man brings up his bugle, and the octopus begins playing reveille. After downing his free beer, the man repeats his boast. Next a man walks up with a trombone. The octopus begins playing a Glenn Miller tune perfectly. Again the man drinks his beer and repeats his boast. This time, a man brings up some bagpipes. But instead of playing it, the octopus just looks confused. The man asks, “What’s the matter, can’t you play them?” To which the octopus responds, “Play it? I’m gonna f*ck it as soon as I figure out how to get it’s clothes off!”