If your bowling alley has a valet.

If you see a sign that says "say no to crack" and it reminds you to pull up your shorts.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You own a homemade fur coat.

You were shooting pool when your son was born.

your mother has ammo on her christmas list.

You've been involved in a custody dispute over a hunting dog

you've ever stolen toilet paper

you take a fishing pole to Sea World

Jack Daniels is one of your most admired people.

You view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls