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Top Ten Favorite Halloween Activities

10. Traumatizing little children with my Dead Winnie the Pooh being raped by Tigger diorama
9. Celebrating the coming of our Dark Lord with Silly String and Xanex white bars
8. Going around at 3 a.m. and quietly pinching a loaf on my neighbor’s lawn
7. Drinking until I forget the crushing reality of no longer being a child
6. Passing out condoms and Kama Sutra pamphlets to trick or treaters and giving their parents a big wink and a slap on the ass
5. Pretending I’m an Ogre and beating people to death with a club in order to eat their bones
4. TPing Muslim Mosques3. Masturbating to Jack O Lantern porn carvings
2. Reliving my childhood Halloweens by locking myself in the basement with the dead mice and the Koran
1. Smoking bowls, eating all the candy, staying up all night, and watching that real estate infomercial with the two midget twins
micrkr
Uploaded 11/11/2008
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