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22 things youll never hear from a redneck

22. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
21. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
20. Duct tape won't fix that.
19. We don't keep firearms in this house.
18. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
17. You can't feed that to the dog.
16. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
15. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
14. We're vegetarians.
13. Do you think my gut is too big?
12. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
11. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
10. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
09. Trim the fat off that steak.
08. The tires on that truck are too big.
07. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
06. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
05. Checkmate.
04. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
03. Honey, we don't need another dog
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.
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Tags: redneck

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