1. So your Daughters a hooker and it spoiled your day... look on the
bright side, she's a really good lay.
2. My tire was thumping... I thought it was flat... when I looked at
the tire... I noticed your cat... Sorry.
3. You had your Bladder removed and you're on the mends... here's a
bouquet of flowers and a box of depends.
4. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I felt
real snippy.
5. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be... But don't fret
about it... She moved in with me.
6. You totaled your car... and can't remember why... could it have
been... that case of Bud Dry