A drunk came home and passed out next to his wife. While asleep, he dreamed he was in Heaven, and was meeting with Saint Peter. Realizing where he was, the drunk asked how he died. Saint Peter said he would have to pull his records, and told him to have a seat for a bit. As he was waiting, the man saw a hot blonde angel pass by him and asked Saint Peter if he could have sex with her, which Saint Peter allowed. After having sex with the blonde, the drunk had to poop, and he asked if there was a bathroom. Saint Peter said “Of course.” He pointed to a magnificent throne of a toilet, and told him to use the edge of a cloud to wipe. The man did his business, and started to wipe when he heard his name being called over and over again. At this point, the drunk woke up from his dream to his wife screaming his name. He asked her what was wrong, and she responded: “You can fuck me and you can shit in the bed, but there’s no goddamn way youre going to wipe your ass with my pillow!”