Random Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months...
I don't like to interrupt her."

Why do Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.

Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
She has to chew before she can swallow.

Why did the woman cross the road?
What the hell was that bitch doing out of the kitchen?

What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

How do you make love to an ugly woman?
Jerk off in your hand and throw it at her.

Why do women have periods?