This is sort of a language translation for men that I have come to understand throughout my marriage:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We Need = I want
I am sorry = You'll be sorry
We need to talk = You're a fucking child
Sure, go ahead = You better not asshole
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
I'm not upset = I will kill you in your sleep
You're very attentive = You horny bastard.