How do you beat up Helen Keller with out touching her?
- move around the furniture

How did Helen Keller lose her hands?
- reading road signs

Whats Helen Keller's favorite color?
- Corduroy

Why couldn't Helen Keller scream when i pushed her off a cliff?
- She was wearing mittens

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
- You would too if your name was NAHHEEHHMMMUURRGG

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house?
- Neither has she