Atlanta School Board

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over "Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as alanguage to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from theHickphonics/English dictionary: HEIDI -- noun. Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.

Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew." BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."

Usage: "Them N-C-