The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS
auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Ralph. 'How about a
demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay Go ahead.'
Ralph says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Ralph's attorney as a witness. He