More Real Airline Announcements:
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'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
com-pliments.'

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'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses......except for
that gentle-man over there.'

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