1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

2. Drum on every available surface.

3. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

5. Ask 800 operators for dates.

6. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.

7. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

8. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

10. Set alarms for random times.

11. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

12. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

13. Honk and wave to strangers.

14. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

15. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

16. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

17. Decline to be seat