Report crime, gradually describe/correct details of perpetrator to sketch artist until he draws Burt Reynolds.

Supplement bland waiting room periodicals at the dentist with hardcore porn mags.

At doctor's office, supplement stool samples with sherbert.

E-mail people totally normal e-mail articles. Claim they are from the Onion and they're hilarious. See if you get any responses saying how funny they were.

Fill friend's humidifier with a) whiskey b) urine or c) deer pheromones.