A guy goes walking into work at twelve o'clock on Monday afternoon. The boss says, "Where were you?"

He says, "Oh. I went to a Polish wedding Friday night and I won second prize in a raffle."

The boss says, "Yeah...."

He says, "Second prize in the raffle is you get to spend the weekend screwing the bride."

The boss says, "What was first prize?"

He says, "A canned ham."