Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.
Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious.
I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!
I'm sorry Tyler can't go to school today because his hormones are raging.
I'm sorry but my baby sitter flushed my homework down the toilet.
Please excuse my son from school yesterday, he has gangrene and cock itch.
Please excuse Bob from school from Sep. 1 - Nov. 1, he had to attend a religious sacrificial giving ceremony on Indian grounds.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Dear School: Excuses. Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.