A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together. When gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler, the little boy asks, 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'

Grandpa replies, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' The little boy answered, 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker.' Gramps says, 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer.'

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asks, 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?' Once again, Grandpa asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'. Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar.'

A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some cookies.

Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?' The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?' Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass!'

The little boy replies, 'Then go fuck yourself.'