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Pickup Lines

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1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.


2. Do you want to see something swell?


3. Drop 'em!


4. What do you like for breakfast?


5. Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?


6. Say, did we go to different schools together?


7. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first
thing that pops up?


8. Wear a button that says "Smile if you want to sleep with me."


9. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?


10. Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

11. I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual
consent; and bye the way, you have my consent.


12. I sure you didn't mean to turn me on with your big ass, but it's too late now.


13. Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?


14. Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?


15. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets
there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."


16. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck?
HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?


17. A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?"
You, "Do you have the energy?"


18. Bond. James Bond.


19. Hi I'm take a survey, do you spit or swallow?


20. You look like the type of girl that has heard ever line in the book.
So what's one more?


21. Your place or mine?


22. Nice shoes, wanna fuck?


23. Your face or MINE?


24. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?


25. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?


26. I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck.


27. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.


28. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much your weight.


29. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.


30. Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

31. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I have more of something else.


32. I would kill or die to make love to you.


33. Sex is a killer...want to die happy?


34. HI! Can I buy you a car?


35. NOW, BITCH!


36. Fancy a fuck?


37. My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.


38. Should I call you in the morning or nug you?


39. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?


40. I hope the word of the day is legs, because I would sure like to spread...


41. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?


42. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?


43. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and
put them in your eyes.


44. Look at the tag in her shirt and say:
"I want to see if you were really made in heaven."


45. I know who you are now, you sure look alot different with your clothes on?


46. I haven't seen you in while, you sure look alot different without my dick
in your mouth.


47. Go up to a girl and start sniffing her body from head to toe and then look
at her and say, "Gee I didn't know that they've started using vinegar in
douces again."


48. If I told you that you have a great body, would you hold it against me?


49. You know what I like about you? My arms.


50. I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... On a Wednesday.


51. "Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?"


52. Do you sleep on your stomach? Would you mind if I did?


53. Hi, my name is... That's so you know what to scream.


54. What has 100 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.


55. Wanna go halves on a bastard?


56. Man to woman - Are you tired?
Woman answers.
Man to woman - You should be. You've been running through my
dreams all night.


57. You "Excuse me, but would you like a seat?"
If she answers yes, reply:
You "Here, let me clean it off for you..."
Then look upward and brush your face off, and say "..there, all clean"


58. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.


59. Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute, I want to remember your
face for my dreams


60. Do you believe in love at first sight?...Or do I have to walk by again?


61. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can easily see myself
in your pants.


62. Tomorow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?


63. Your parents must be bakers cuz they sure put out a great set of buns!


64. Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother
as soon as I fell in love.


65. Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?


66. Would you like to go home for a pizza and a fuck?....*slap*...what? you
don't like pizza?


67. That shirt is very becomming on you, of course if I were that shirt I
would be comming on you too.


68. Pez?


69. I heard milk was good for your body, but damn! You must drink gallons
at a time!


70. Excuse me, but could you give me directions?
To where?
Your heart...


71. Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt?
Would you like it to be?


72. The voices in my head say you should go out with me....


73. Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you?


74. I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do
with the rest of my body.


75. Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
person B: No
Person A: Well then, please start.


76. If I follow you home, will you keep me?


77. Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes?


78. Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?


79. Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on
yours. Just a light touch will do.
"So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..."


80. (hold up first two fingers on one hand)
Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate?
No, why?
Because they're mine.


81. A: walks up to B and gently pulls up their collar and looks at the
tag in their shirt...a hmph and a long pause...then A walks away.
B: What the hell? What was that? etc...
A: Oh... I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven."


82. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie
up for the night?


83. A: Did it hurt?
B: What?!?!?!?!?
A: When you fell from the sky as an angel!


84. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway!


85. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.


86. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go to my place and spread the word.
bgerein Uploaded 03/03/2009
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