On vacation in Rome, I noticed a marble column in St.

Peter's with a golden telephone on it. As a young priest passed

by, I asked who the telephone was for. The priest told me it was a

direct line to Heaven, and if I'd like to call, it would be a

thousand dollars. I was amazed, but declined the offer.

Throughout Italy, I kept seeing the same golden telephone

on a marble column. At each, I asked about it and the answer

was always the same: a direct line to Heaven and I could call for a

thousand dollars.

I finished my tour in Ireland . I decided to attend Mass at a

local village church. When I walked in the door I noticed

the golden telephone. Underneath it there was a sign stating:

"DIRECT LINE TOHEAVEN 25 cents."

"Father," I said, "I have been all over Italy and in

all the cathedrals I visited, I've seen telephones exactly like this

one. But the price is always a thousand dollars. Why is it

that this one is only 25 cents?"

The priest smiled and said, "Darlin', you're
in Ireland now.
It's a local call...