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Chuck Norris Facts 2

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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.


In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.


Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.



Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!



In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.




It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.




There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.




Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.




Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.






It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.



Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.




Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.




If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.



Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.




Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.




The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"




Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.



Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.



Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.




When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.




Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.



Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
rockzilla411 Uploaded 05/24/2009
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