The young man went to the doctor, complaining of an awful lisp. Giving him a thorough examination, the doctor determined that his problem was the size of his member: It was so large that it was actually pulling his tongue off center.

Performing an emergency operation, the physician shortened the organ and sent the man on his way. Several weeks later, the patient returned, complaining that while his lisp was gone, his sex life had also gone down the tubes, "I'd like my dick back," he said mournfully.

At this, the doctor looked him straight in the eye and said, "Thcrew you."